Critical Investigation - Feedback

WWW - There is a phenomenal amount of research here and the bibliography is very impressive.



EVEN BETTER IF -

- You don't see to understand the majority of your research or go into any detail regarding any of the studies. The whole essay never gets beyond the superficial - surely a media student can't be struggling a fight scene in The Dark Knight Rises caused by James Holmes to kill 12 people?
- It is never clear what your argument is and you seem easily taken in by the lazy right wing media approach of blaming the media.
- There are also for too many basic errors: director's name spelled wrong, clumsy sentences, quotes that do the opposite of what you are saying (see top of page 5), missing capital letters.... the list goes on
- Although you refer to many studies, you have very little media theory or theorists. You need to research and include media effects theory.
- For an essay on the effect of violence or the audience, you have almost no effects theory (hyperdermic needle, cultivation theory etc)
- Look again at the essay structure and particularly topic sentence ... you need much more clarity if you want to reach the higher levels grades.